I Always Knew
by theonlykyla
Summary: I've known I was different since I was five yrs old. It wasn't until the new guy in school caught my eye that I realized exactly why I was different. I've loved him for so long. Can he ever really see me? Love me, too?


**A/n: This was my entry in the Born This Way contest. It is Slash.**

**I have fallen in love with Emmett and Jacob together ever since I paired them in Just More. I hope I can do them justice in this little story.**

**It'll probably be about 5 chapters or so. I won't have a timed schedule for posting, as right now, I simply don't have the time to dedicate to finishing it regularly. BUT, I will try to update at least once every 2 weeks or so until it's done.**

**Disclaimer: I am not Stephenie Meyer. I'm sure she'd cringed at what I'm about to do.**

**Enjoy!**

When I was five years old, I knew that something felt different for me.

While I enjoyed playing with the other little boys on the playground, I didn't want to be the rough and dirty boy they all wanted to be. I wanted us to hold hands and play nice, hang out with the girls. I enjoyed playing house and being the daddy. But, I was the tallest in my class and it was expected of me to be the toughest by my friends. They all wanted me to play cops and robbers, indians and cowboys...but I really wanted to play house or sing songs in circles with the girls.

When I was fifteen years old, I was expected to play sports since I was still the biggest guy in school. My size made me look mean and aggressive, but my heart told me that I was nothing but a teddy bear. My dad ridiculed me for the girly movies that I enjoyed watching or the type of clothes I preferred to wear and the time I spent getting ready at the start of each day. I liked my hair styled and my face shaved.

My friends razzed on me for not having a girlfriend or even showing an interest in the girls we hung around. But we were all still at that awkward teen age where it could be blown off to inexperience.

At seventeen, the object of my first crush almost did me in. A new kid in school had been all the buzz for the past week but I had yet to see him...that all changed when he came walking into the cafeteria that day.

He was dark skinned with long, shiny black hair pulled back in a ponytail and he was huge. I mean to say he was well over my six foot three inches in height. And my cock took notice instantly. He made eye contact with me and smiled that brilliant smile for about two point five seconds and I knew that if I didn't relieve this pain in my now throbbing dick that I would explode in my pants.

I casually strolled out of the cafeteria and went to the furthest bathroom I could find and relieved myself to the image of that smile. Several times that day I had to find an excuse to hide in a stall to seek release that was now almost a constant.

By the end of the day, I was completely terrified by what had happened…It was the first time that a guy that I actually saw face to face had made me hard. It confirmed what I've sorta known all along. I was gay.

He joined the football team, where I was the captain, and expected to show him the ropes, acquaint him with our plays, drills and the rest of the team. He would listen intently to every word I'd say. He'd wink at me before he left at the end of practice, say 'Thank you' and go on his way.

I tried to avoid him.

I tried to stop the racing of my heart every time our bodies were within close proximity.

I tried not to allow him to star in my dreams every night.

But nothing worked. I was in love with him.

Jacob had a girlfriend. He was a party guy. He was the center of a large circle of friends who were all completely straight. So I knew that I never stood a chance with him.

Not that anyone knew that I was gay...well, except my best friend, Rosalie. She confessed to me, last summer at the beach when I wasn't ogling her in the barely there bikini she wore, she knew that I had to be gay. When she finally confronted me about it, I denied it at first then broke down and admitted it and have lived in fear of anyone else finding out, ever since.

I would never be able to be myself until I graduated from High School and went east for college. Then, I could find someone of my own and live life free from the scrutiny and fear that this small, provincial town confined me in.

Rose and I both had a crush on Jacob. We'd sit and stare at him, discuss every move he made, the clothes he wore, what it would be like to kiss him.

We suffered through our senior year, silently wishing he would notice either of us. But, it never happened. Rose and I went to prom together. We were best friends and neither of us were interested in anyone but Jake, so it just worked out well.

We graduated with honors and made plans to keep in touch before we went our separate ways over the summer. Rose was heading to Berkley and already had potential housing and work lined up. Whereas, I was counting down the days until I could pack my jeep and move across the country leaving this shell of a person behind.

I had been accepted to NYU. My parents were not happy about it at all. They couldn't understand why I didn't want to stay local, go to UDub and play ball as I had been offered a college football scholarship to stay in Seattle. I didn't want to be a football player. I hated playing football if I was being completely honest, but it had been expected of me and would not have been acceptable for me not to play.

I wasn't exactly sure what I wanted to do with my life, but I knew that I wanted to do it as far from Forks, Washington as I could get. Therefore, New York City, New York worked for me.

**Three Years Later**

I'm sitting in my usual booth in my usual hang out with my friends, Edward and Jasper, Alice, Riley and Seth and this new guy that I think I might just like, James. We've been here a few hours, as happy hour starts at eight o'clock and it's now approaching midnight. I've had a few to drink so I'm truly thinking that my eyes are playing tricks on me when I see Jacob Black walk through the front door to the club.

He stands there in his ripped, dark denim, low-slung jeans and faded grey henley that's barely containing his chest and he's searching the room for something...someone...until his eyes meet mine. I gasp as he sees me and his brilliant smile erupts across his face.

"What the fuck?" I manage to squeak out.

All of my friends are now watching me watch him and all but Alice are perplexed. She knows about Jacob because I've told her about him and shown her pictures from my high school annuals. We'd found out that he was playing football as a walk on at Rutgers last season and she's been pestering me for weeks to look him up. I'm going to kill her for doing this to me. I know she's set me up and contacted him.

"Emmett, how the fuck are you?" He asks as he stands in front of our table. All of my friends are staring at me and I can't take my eyes off of him. He's here, standing at my table, in a gay bar. He knows. He knows. My family will find out. My secret will be out.

"Um, hi, Jacob. What are you doing here?" I finally manage to stutter out, realizing that it's been too long since anyone's spoke.

"I came to talk to you. Can we go somewhere a little more private and talk?" He said; almost shy like, with his hands thrusts deep into his jeans pockets and a coy look upon his face.

"I'm here with my friends, I can't just leave...I don't want to be rude." I say, trying to think up a good reason not to talk to him alone and completely humiliate myself any further.

"Emmett, we'll be fine. Besides, we all walked here, we'll all walk home. Now scoot," Alice said, shooing me out of the booth with her hands, while both Edward and Jasper were guffawing about me leaving and how they could take care of themselves.

"Okay, well, sure Jacob, we can go talk then." I managed to get out coherently. My mind was whirling a hundred miles an hour and I couldn't figure out what the hell was going on. Why is he here? What could he possibly want to say to me unless he's here to ridicule me or try to 'save' me from being gay. God knows I've had enough of that bullshit to last me a lifetime.

"Um, there's a little coffee shop a few blocks over, if that's alright with you." His voice was timid as he stumped his boot against the side of the booth wall as I slid out of the seat to stand in front of him.

"Oh, sure, I don't mind walking a bit." I felt my nerve endings light on fire being this close to him again after so many years.

"I was thinking we could ride my bike, um, well, it's parked outside if you want to ride with me." He fumbled for words, again leaving me completely confused.

"Jacob, I don't think we'll both fit on a bike." I stupidly replied.

He blushed, what the fuck...and his eyes met mine for a second before he looked towards the door, "It's a motorcycle."

It took me a second then I realized what he was saying, I was still evaluating the blush across his now pink cheeks. "Alright then." I said dumbfounded.

I followed him out to the street where he approached a Harley Davidson Heritage Softail, grabbed a helmet for him and one for me out of the side compartments. I stood there with my jaw on the ground and my eyes bugging out of my head. This was like a wet dream come to life but it was real and it was right in front of me.

"Close your mouth and put this on, I'll explain when we get there." Jacob said as he leaned across me, put the helmet in one hand and ran the back of his other hand across my cheek. "Emmett." He spoke name so soft that it sent a shiver down my spine. "Snap out of it, babe. Put your helmet on so we can go." He chuckled as I started to come out of my haze and did as he instructed.

I climb on the back of the bike behind him, unsure of where to put my hands. I settled for the side of the seat on the little metal bars, but Jake reached back, grabbed my hands and placed them on his hips. My hands felt like they were on fire from the feel of his body under my skin, even through his shirt. It was like nothing I'd ever felt before. He looked back over his shoulder, winked at me and let out a laugh as he started up his bike and we took off down the street.

A few minutes later, we pulled up in front of a little coffee shop that I'd probably passed a million times but never really noticed. "Do you come here often, Jake?" I asked as we climbed off the bike and ditched the helmets.

"Yep, I've been coming here for probably the past six months or so." He replied once again leaving me completely speechless. Jacob looked at me, took in my shock and laughed again. "Come on, let's get inside." He grabbed my hand and pulled me with him, never letting go of my hand as I looked down at the connection.

"Jacob, what the fuck is going on?" I finally got enough sense about me to feel something other than shock.

"Have a seat." He motioned to a booth in the back corner. I stomped down the aisle, sat down and just stared at him. He'd grown a little more into himself. His eyes were more soulful, his skin more radiant and those dimples, gah, those motherfuckin' dimples would be the death of me.

"Jake." I said, my voice showing my frustration.

"Emmett, I'm gay." Jacob's voice pushed the words float out into the air around us, seizing me, constricting my heart, my lungs and my ability to speak.

I blinked a few times. I tried to speak but my mouth felt like a scrap of sandpaper had rubbed it raw.

All the while, he just sat there, smiling at me, giving me a moment to absorb what he'd just told me.

The waitress came over, filled our coffee cups, saw we weren't even looking at the menu and walked away.

"I don't...I don't understand." I finally spoke.

"I…am…gay." Jacob said, again stressing every word.

"But, but...um...I'm gay." I said, almost making it sound like a question.

Jake's head rolled back and a loud laugh rang from his chest as his hand snuck across the table to enclose around mine, "God, I hope so, or I'm gonna look pretty foolish here in a few minutes when I ask you out on an official date."

"You want to take me on a date?" I asked making sure I'd heard him right.

"I'm hoping for more than just one, Emmett." His eyes softened and his thumb began to caress across my knuckles with the hand still holding mine. I looked down at his hand over mine and then back up to him.

"But Jacob, I'm not sure that I understand. Why are you here now? How did you find me? I mean, gah, I'm glad you did but ...but...it's you." I shook my head, trying to wrap my mind around everything that had happened in the past hour and the fact that the love of my life was sitting across from me, admitting that he was gay, asking me out on a date and holding my hand, in public.

"Emmett, I've been in love with you for the past five years. I always knew where you were...I always knew that my heart belonged to you. I always knew that one day we'd find a way to be together." Jacob said, his eyes brimming with tears as he looked at me with love shining through his chocolate brown orbs.

"You always knew?" I questioned.

"I always knew..." he said while wiping a tear that had fallen. He closed his eyes for a minute, then when he opened them he looked back up at me, "I was made to love you."

"But, Jacob, I don't understand…if you knew why did you wait so long to find me? Why now?" I wanted to believe everything he was saying but I was scared. I had dreamed of this man for so long and it still didn't feel real having him here, in front of me, professing his love.

"Emmett, I had to get my shit together, man. I wasn't ready to come out; I had things to do to prepare my life for when you and I could be together. You do want to be with me, right? I mean, if you are in love with someone else, then, well, I don't know," He started to ramble; he ran his fingers through his hair and let out a long winded breath. "I planned everything around us being together." He said gently.

I just blinked at him. I didn't know what to say.

"I guess I should have thought to ask you first, huh?" He got a look of defeat on his face and his shoulders started to slump.

"What are you talking about 'you planned everything around us being together', planned what?" I needed to fully understand what he was talking about so that I could decide if this was a really bad joke or not.

"Emmett, I knew that you were in New York. I know your plans to open a gym once you finish your Physical Therapy degree. I bought a building for my bike shop with enough space and parking to allow you to have your own place of business too. There's a loft on the fourth floor, I've spent the past year renovating it, so that we can call it home."

"You bought me a building?" It was all starting to come together in my mind. Jacob was gay, he was in love with me and he wanted a life, with me.

He chuckled, "I bought **US** a building."

"And you want to be with me? You aren't embarrassed? You are out?" I quizzed him.

"I am out to everyone but your family, which I believe you still need to handle, too. Am I right?" He quirked an eyebrow at me and took a sip of coffee.

"Yes." I whispered.

"Can we go home now, Emmett? It's been a long day and I'm tired and I don't want our first kiss to be in this dingy coffee shop." Jake asked while pulling my hand out of the seat.

"Okay." I answered and I knew full well, I'd follow Jacob anywhere he wanted to lead me.

We got back on the bike, helmets firmly in place and took off downtown at one-thirty in the morning. Twenty minutes later, he pulled up in front of a five story brick building with a row of garage doors lining the front of it.

"Home," he whispered in my ear as we got off the motorcycle and removed our helmets.

I watched as he punched in a security code in the door, the garage door swung up and he walked the bike in, "You coming?" Jake looked at me with a ray of joy shining on his face.

"Um, yeah." I mumbled as I followed him.

"Hit 0824 star on the keypad," Jake instructed, so I did, realizing that was my birthday. I looked up at him and he winked.

"Come on, I'll show you the apartment." He held his hand out as he stood on the bottom step leading into the building from the garage.

He held my hand the whole way up the three flights of stairs that we walked up to get to the apartment, "Now, remember, it's still under construction and I really wanted your input before I did to much to it, but," he hesitated before opening the door, "Welcome home."

I walked in and was met with brick walls and open windows and a mess of stuff that still needed to be finished. "How long have you been working on this, Jake?"

"For a year," I heard his soft reply in my ear as I felt his hands on my hips when he stepped up behind me, "I wanted to have it ready before I approached you."

I was on fire from the heat of his body behind me, my heart felt like it was about to catapult out of my chest via my throat so I closed my eyes, held the tears at bay, "Jake."

He turned me around, held me to his chest, "Let me show you, baby. Please?" His breath fanned across my face as he pulled my chin up to look at him.

Our eyes held in a lock as his hands circled my body, pulling me to him. I slid my hands up his chest around his neck, "yes, Jake." I breathed out as his lips lowered to touch mine softly.

I tried to suppress the moan from my throat as his tongue licked my bottom lip, asking for entrance. My lips parted and I felt the heat from the tip of his tongue as it circled my mouth, searching for contact with my own tongue. Our bodies crashed tighter against each other as the kiss deepened and the heat in the air caused an explosion of passion to erupt between us.

Rubbing.

Moaning.

Thrusting.

Clawing.

Our clothes flew off; every ounce of skin was touched and kneaded as our hands fought to hold the other to them.

I couldn't get close enough to Jake. I couldn't feel him tight enough against me. I wanted him inside me like I'd never wanted, no, needed anything before.

"Please Jake," I cried as our mouths broke apart for air and his lips assaulted my neck.

He wrapped his hand around the base of my cock and I felt like a lightening bolt had struck me from the inside out. Everything about my body was awake and aware of his presence.

"Oh baby," he whispered as he dropped to his knees and held my cock in his hands before he looked up at me and opened his mouth.

I steeled myself as his warm mouth engulfed my throbbing shaft, not able to stop the moan that escaped my lips, followed by his name.

I let my hands close around his head and guided him up and down as he sucked on me over and over again, filling his mouth with my dick.

My head fell back as I felt the build up coming on, "I'm gonna cum, Jacob….oh Gooooood….." I murmured as I pushed his head down around my cock and felt the back of his throat. He hummed around me and I exploded, holding on to his shoulders as the ray of light pulsed through my body filling his mouth with my release.

"Fuck…." I breathed out as he licked, swirling his tongue softly over my base and up to the tip, making sure that he'd gotten it all.

"I love you, Emmett." He looked up at me from his knees, my now semi-hard cock resting on my thigh.

I pulled his shoulders to help him stand, "I love you, too, Jacob," I responded with a tear falling down my cheek.

"Don't cry, baby. I'm here. I'm yours." He said as he picked me up and carried me to his bed. He laid me down on my back, settled himself between my legs and kissed me. Our bodies became intertwined and our cocks rubbed against each other as heat exploded, once again, in the room.

"I want to make love to you, Em." He cooed in my ear as he hovered over me. My hands were running up and down his back, my eyes taking him all in as he moved over me, slowly rubbing our cocks together.

"Please," was the only reply I could give.

He leaned over the bed, grabbed the condoms and the lube from the bedside table and laid them on the bed beside him.

"I want to make you mine in every way, Em. Say you'll be mine." His eyes begged for my words, as he prepared himself to take me.

"I've always been yours, Jacob. Always." I answered.

He sat up on his knees; spread my thighs out wide before pushing them up a little to open me up for him. "Have you been taken before?" He asked timidly.

I closed my eyes and nodded my head, not wanting to think about the nightmare of my previous sexual experiences.

"It's okay, baby." He reassured me as he leaned down to kiss me, "I'll be the only one that matters for the rest of your life."

His lips hit mine as I felt his finger probe my hole, slowly, gently, he stretched me, relaxed me, adding another finger as he went a little deeper.

I was struggling to breath from the overwhelming sensation of just his fingers; I could only imagine how amazing it would feel once he was inside of me.

"Are you ready, baby?" He asked, sitting back to his knees.

"Yes," I nodded my head as he lifted my thigh higher, lined himself up and started to push inside of me.

"Fuck, Em, so tight….oh fuck me…." He groaned and he kept pushing and pulling back, going a little deeper with each down stroke.

"Jake, oh God, Jake….more….please more…" I begged as he continued to slide further inside of me, filling me deliciously. I slowly started to push back, hoping to pull him deeper, needing to feel him all the way in as deep as I could get him.

"Oh fuck…..damn, baby….ready?" He asked before pushing hard and bringing his hips and groin completely flush with my ass.

"OHHHhhhhhhhhh Jakkkkkkke…"I moaned….."More….harder…please baby…." I moaned and pushed and writhed under him.

"Fuck yes, Em…you are mine….." he said through gritted teeth as he pulled out and set a hard and fast rhythm. The sound of our skin hitting skin was the only noise that rivaled our moans and growls as Jake pounded into me, over and over.

"I've waited so long for this Emmett…but I'm not going to last baby. Cum on me, please, mark me when I claim you." His voice pleaded with me as I grabbed my aching cock and started to stroke, aiming it directly at his chest.

I wanted him to feel my hot heat on his skin when I felt his cock shove inside me, filling me to the tilt and his hot cum pulsing out of his cock as it swelled inside me. The reaction set off my own orgasm as my cock let loose across his abs and groin, my white lines marking him as mine.

"Goddamn, Emmett…." He collapsed on top of me, pulling me into his arms, caging me in his heat.

"Fuck, Jacob….." I whispered through soft kisses to his face and neck, "I need more baby."

He chuckled, "You didn't think I was done with you, did you?" His eyes sparkled and he licked his lips.

"I always knew….." I said into the soft space around us, as I moved some hair off his damp forehead.

"Knew what baby?" He said, staring into my eyes curiously.

"I always knew that if I got a chance to be myself and just love you, it would be the most amazing feeling ever." I confessed

"Just like I always knew I loved you….." He said with a soft kiss to my lips.

"Jacob, how did you do all this but never come to me? I mean, why now?" I asked as I ran my hands up and down his arms.

"It was time and then well, Alice called and told me to get my ass in gear because you were going out on blind dates again." His eyes held a sadness as he spoke.

"Oh Jake, I hated dating and it was all Alice's fault I was even blind dating." I tried to sound reassuring.

"I know, she was doing it to get me to get my shit together." He closed his eyes and put his forehead to mine.

"Wait. How long have you been talking to Alice?" I pulled my head back so I could see his face.

He let out a long sigh, "I met Alice on the bus to New York five years ago. Once I told her about you and what I wanted to do with my life, she agreed to help me. It just kind of worked out that she loved you as much as I did and became your best friend." Jacob's confession rattled me.

"What?" I asked, pulling away from his grip.

"Emmett, I wasn't ready to come out yet, but I had to be near you. I blew off Stanford to come here, to New York, just because you would be here." Jake's words were ringing in my ears.

"But, Alice…she knew all along….she held me on the nights that I cried because I knew I'd only ever love you and no one else would ever compare." I was holding my anger at bay as I scooted off the bed and went searching for my clothes.

"Emmett, please….try and understand…..I was scared….but I couldn't lose you." Jacob let out a sob.

I stopped and turned to see him sitting on his knees in the middle of the bed, tears streaming down his cheeks. My big, beautiful man looked so little and broken. "Oh Jake." I ran back to the bed and into his arms.

"I couldn't stand the thought of being all the way across the country from you….you here alone….without me to watch you, protect you…." He confessed through the rage of kisses he was leaving all over my face and neck.

"Jacob, I wondered about you everyday….I thought of you every day…." I felt my own tears falling and pushed him back on the bed.

We laid there holding one another, crying, drying each other's tears, whispering our love and relishing in the feel of the others body against our own.

"Take me, Emmett…..make me yours forever." Jacob whispered.

I gathered the items I needed, my hands shaking like I'd never seen before….I was finally going to take a man….but not just any man….my Jacob.

I stroked my cock a few times before rolling the condom on and lining it with lube, leaving some on my finger. I threw the items in the floor and leaned over putting my mouth around Jake's cock. I moaned as I took it all in my mouth, probing my finger around his puckered hole.

As I sucked him deeper into my mouth, I felt his hands on my head, guiding me, so I started to fuck him faster with my finger, stretching him so that I could add another one. "I'm ready Emmett, take me, please?" I looked up at him as his eyes held a plea…..for more from me.

I popped off his cock, licked my lips and with shaky hands pushed his legs wide up and open, leaving that little hole wide open for me. I looked up to see Jake smile at me, "I'm yours, just take me, Em."

I lined my cock up and slowly started to push inside; I could feel the resistance and didn't want to hurt him. I pulled out a bit and pushed back in, trying not to cum from the feel of the heat, the wet, the grip around my shaft as I pushed deeper inside.

"OH god, Jake….oh fuck…." I said as I started to thrust in a pace that would have me cumming faster than I wanted to. But fuck, he felt so good wrapped around my cock and I had waited so long and "Fucckkkk !" I screamed as my orgasm hit me hard and fast, knocking the wind out of me and leaving me completely unprepared for the suddenness of it all.

"OH shit, Emmett…..fuck….baby….." Jacob said as his cock spewed all over me when I fell down onto him struggling to catch my breath.

We laid there for what felt like an eternity, allowing our breathing to return to normal, basking in the afterglow.

"I think I'd like to put a swing in the corner." I admit to Jacob as we lay in bed, just soft touches being shared between us.

"A swing?" Jake asked with a quirked brow.

I giggle "A sex swing, silly." I reply with a small puckered kiss to his lips.

"OH really," he wiggled his eyebrows at me, "do tell."

"No, nothing like that, I've just got ideas and things I'd like to try, that I never have and well," I pause and try to stop my blush, "I want to try them with you." I whisper.

He giggles this time, swats my ass and says, "Come on, let's go shower."

After another round of making love in the shower, we laid in bed, watching the sun come up, holding each other almost afraid that it was all a dream.

"Emmett, I've waited so long for you. Please say you'll stay forever." Jacob said, his eyes boring into mine with a desperate plea.

"I always knew that if you asked, I'd stay forever…." I leaned down to kiss him as the sun cracked the horizon.

A/n: Soooo ...what'd ya think? Let me know if you want me to continue it!


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